Look At Those Gains!

“Being in the GAP puts you in the passenger seat of your own experiences. You’re reactive to whatever happens—and when things don’t go how you expected or wanted, then you’re the powerless victim. The GAIN, on the other hand, puts you in the driver’s seat of your own life. You decide what your experiences mean. You decide how you’ll frame them, and you always find ways to utilize your experiences to improve your future—even seemingly terrible experiences are the springboard for amazing clarity and growth.”

―Benjamin Hardy, Dan Sullivan. The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers’ Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

In Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan’s The Gap and The Gain, they explain how much of our frustration stems from focusing on "the GAP"—what we haven’t yet achieved and the goals that are still out of reach—rather than "the GAIN"—the progress we’ve already made. Man, if that isn’t the story of my life.

In 2022, I created something I call a "Gain Document" to address this very issue. It wasn’t meant for anyone else—just me. It became a space to capture everything happening in my life: successes, triumphs, missteps, and failures. More than anything, it was a living reminder of my progress. Because if we’re always racing forward without pausing to look back, we miss the chance to truly appreciate how far we’ve come.

Creating a document like this is a powerful way to embrace living in "the GAIN." It allows you to spotlight the wins, growth, and milestones you’ve already achieved while reframing your narrative to celebrate progress rather than dwelling on what’s still a bit out of reach. By anchoring yourself in gratitude and clarity, you not only honor how far you’ve come but also build momentum for what’s ahead. It keeps us grounded in everything we’ve accomplished along the way. 

For me, the document feels like stitching together a patchwork quilt of memories, goals, and reflections—part storytelling, part strategy, and part celebration. Each piece weaves together a narrative that reminds me of how much I’ve accomplished, how far I’ve come, and where I’m headed. It’s not about perfection but about capturing the natural ebb and flow of my life and career.

So, here are the details.

Each year, I create a new document and store it in my Google Drive for easy access. While revisiting it once a month works well, I prefer to check in with it every week—it keeps me grounded and consistently connected to my progress.

At the very top of the document, I include powerful quotes and mantras that resonate with me for the year. These inspiring words serve as daily reminders to stay focused and motivated on what truly matters. Here are a few examples:

• There is no hurry. You will get there in your own time.
• Everything you need is zooming toward you.
• Your job isn’t to know the how. Be open to discovering the how.
• You can’t have everything. Something’s gotta give.
• Slowing down doesn’t mean stopping. It means catching up with yourself.

Each time I review the document, I start at the top to ensure I’m “living it right.”

Next comes my Word Of The Year. It is large and boldfaced to ensure I am paying attention and living (and making decisions) with intention.

Finally, I organize the document by month, using bullet points to capture accomplishments, challenges, wins, and milestones. In 2024, I celebrated podcast appearances, speaking opportunities, vacations (including planning them), and successes in my coaching business and physician work. I also took time to reflect on personal moments, like my son’s surgery and my stepdad’s passing. While I occasionally reviewed my calendar for details, most of the entries came from real-time reflections. This practice allows me to pause and relive the moments that matter most, offering a chance to gain perspective on both growth and priorities.

The beauty of this document is that you can organize it in whatever way works best for you. I prefer organizing it by month or time, but you could also structure it around themes like work, family, self-care, or community. It’s not just about recording what happened—it’s about reflecting on what those events mean. A men’s group coaching call becomes more than just a meeting; it’s a step toward building something meaningful. A vacation isn’t just time off; it’s a reconnection with your values. Over time, patterns emerge—the balance you’re striving for, the shifts you’ve made, and the intentionality guiding your decisions.

Ultimately, creating a document like this becomes both a map of where you’ve been and a compass guiding where you’re headed. It’s more than just a year-in-review—it’s a meaningful reflection of your growth, values, and the life you’re intentionally crafting. By focusing on "the GAIN" instead of "the GAP," you celebrate progress, identify patterns, and reconnect with your purpose in a way that inspires and energizes you. It allows you to recognize what’s working, pinpoint areas for adjustment, and honor both the wins and challenges as vital steps toward your bigger vision. Most importantly, it reminds you that you are actively creating the life you truly want to live.

How would creating something like this help you connect with your purpose or realign with your goals? What story do you think it would tell about your life right now? What would it look like to stay grounded in your progress while still reaching for the future you want?

Are you interested in a FREE WORKSHEET to help navigate goal-setting while creating the life you've always wanted?  I invite you to check out Design Your Life: A Goal-Setting Guide For Physicians.  This worksheet will help you design the step-by-step path to your ultimate physician life.  Get started today!

PS.  I get a lot of inspiration from music lyrics.  Many people use inspiring quotes (and I do too), but music really speaks to me.  I hope you find inspiration in the songs too.

 

Miley Cyrus - The Climb