Let Go Of Your Story

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”

   Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is a story?  When I think of a story, I think of a fairy tale.  An imaginary account that has been concocted for entertainment.  It may also serve to teach a lesson or prevent harm.  Some stories may be rooted in reality, but many have a healthy mix of fiction to increase interest and provide the appearance of value.

Stories are not just tall tales told to others.  The truth is, we tell ourselves stories every day, and these stories are the narratives in our minds about who we are and what we are capable of achieving.  And just like fairy tales, our stories have a healthy mix of truth and fiction.   

I have told myself many stories about who I am and what I can achieve. 

• I don’t have time to read a book.
• Sure, I studied French for 11 years, but I’m not fluent.
• I can’t work out at home.
• I can’t be a “good dad” because I work too much.
• Doctors can’t be entrepreneurs.
• Personal finance is too complicated to learn.
• Yes, I need to shave daily, but I can’t grow a beard.

Where do these stories come from? 

Our stories are the thoughts we have told ourselves about ourselves.  We have said the same things so many times that they become our reality regardless of whether or not they are true.  But these thoughts frequently limit our potential and keep us from tackling our biggest goals.

Stories help to protect us so that it stings less if we fail.  They also insulate us from self-judgment and the judgment we perceive from others.  If I tell myself I don’t have the time to do something, I don’t have to feel the pressure of one more thing on my To-Do list.  If I get home late, it isn’t because I didn’t manage my time well.  It is because work was too busy.  If I am not working out, it is because I can't go to the gym and I'm not the type of person that can work out at home.  You get the point. 

But what happens if we don’t evaluate these stories?  What if we never uncover our truth?  What if we don’t make the time, commit to learning new things, exercise, practice what we love, and live our lives by our own design?  You guessed it.  We fail.  We fail to explore our strengths and evaluate our weaknesses.  We fail to learn new things about ourselves.  We fail to excel and achieve new heights.  And we miss out on the joy of succeeding in these fantastic accomplishments.  We lose ourselves.  We waste our precious time.  We fail because we never even tried.  We failed ahead of time.

With the assistance of coaching, I started recognizing my own stories and limiting beliefs.  I began to evaluate the things I always told myself about myself.  And I started searching my stories for facts.  I began evaluating my life for evidence that my stories were unfounded or wholly made up.  It turns out I do have time to read.  I can be a great dad who adores his children while serving as a busy physician.  I can learn personal finance, start a business and grow a beard.  I can do all these things because I want to and, most of all, because I stopped telling myself that I couldn’t.

These days, I am choosing to rewrite my stories with cold hard facts.  I take the time to remind myself of my many accomplishments while being careful to avoid judgment.  Maybe I couldn’t carry on a fluent conversation in French today, but if that became a priority, I have no doubt I could make it happen.  Evaluating our stories and finding the facts puts us back in the driver’s seat and empowers us to live our lives to the fullest extent.  How are your stories holding you back?  Maybe it is time to start rewriting them.

What do you think about yourself when you think about yourself?  What are your stories?  Are these stories holding you back and preventing you from achieving what you want?   Can you separate the facts of your life from the stories you tell yourself?  What do you lose by not abandoning your stories?   

Feeling stuck and trying to figure out "What's Next?" I invite you to download my FREE GUIDE: The 5 Essential Steps Every Physician Needs To Figure Out "What's Next?"

This resource offers practical, actionable steps to help you take back control of your career, set clear goals, and make consistent progress toward the life you genuinely want.

PS.  I get a lot of inspiration from music lyrics.  Many people use inspiring quotes (and I do too), but music really speaks to me.  I hope you find inspiration in the songs too.

Radiohead - Creep

 If you want to read the lyrics, click here.